Domestic Abuse
Scope of this chapter
Statement of purpose:
The purpose of this procedure is to offer the most up-to-date guidance on national legislation in relation to domestic abuse and how that should be implemented locally in practice. This procedure applies to all practitioners in HSCP agencies. Other organisations e.g. refuges are encouraged to adopt them. Some children/young people and their families will benefit from Early Help services and some will require Safeguarding Services to safeguard and promote the child or young person’s welfare.
Anyone can be subjected to or affected by domestic abuse, but research and data shows us that some people – particularly women – are more likely to be so; and it is more likely that those causing the abuse and violence will be men.
Globally, the UN estimates that 1 in 3 women experience domestic abuse in their lifetime with 1 death every 11 minutes worldwide.
In England and Wales, it is estimated that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime. Furthermore, estimates suggest that at least 1 in 5 children live with domestic abuse.
Various identities—such as race, gender, sexuality, disability, and socioeconomic status—intersect and shape an individual’s experience of abuse and access to support. Practitioners should be mindful of this and maintain a clear focus on disproportionality not exclusivity when responding to domestic abuse.
Related guidance
- Domestic Violence and Abuse Flowchart
- Domestic Abuse: A Resource for Health Professionals
- Royal College of Nursing – Domestic Abuse: Professional Resources
Amendment
This chapter was further updated in August 2024 to reflect the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 and Working Together to Safeguard Children 2023.
All children and young people who are exposed to or are subjected to domestic abuse, are likely to be affected and some children/young people may have suffered, or are likely to experience- significant harm. Indeed, any child/ren or young person(s) who see, hear or otherwise are subjected to the effects of domestic abuse are recognised as victims of domestic abuse within UK legislation. This document will refer to ‘victims’ in line with legislation such as the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 and Working Together to Safeguard Children, however we recognise that other terms may be preferred by those that are subjected to domestic abuse - e.g., survivors.
Working Together to Safeguard Children states:
Domestic Abuse Act 2021 The Domestic Abuse Act 2021 introduced the first ever statutory definition of domestic abuse (section 1 of the Act). The statutory definition is clear that domestic abuse may be a single incident or a course of conduct which can encompass a wide range of abusive behaviours, including a) physical or sexual abuse; b) violent or threatening behaviour; c) controlling or coercive behaviour; d) economic abuse; and e) psychological, emotional, or other abuse.
Under the statutory definition, both the person who is carrying out the behaviour and the person to whom the behaviour is directed towards must be aged 16 or over and they must be “personally connected” and the behaviour is abusive (as defined in section 2 of the Domestic Abuse Act 2021). The definition ensures that different types of relationships are captured, including ex-partners and family members. However, child-to-parent abuse and relationship abuse between teenagers under 16 are not covered by this definition.
All children can experience and be adversely affected by domestic abuse in the context of their home life where domestic abuse occurs between family members, including where those being abusive do not live with the child. Experiencing domestic abuse can have a significant impact on children. Section 3 of the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 recognises the impact of domestic abuse on children (0 to 18), as victims in their own right, if they see, hear or experience the effects of abuse.
Young people can also experience domestic abuse within their own intimate relationships. This form of child-on-child abuse is sometimes referred to as teenage relationship abuse. Depending on the age of the young people, this may not be recognised in law under the statutory definition of domestic abuse (if one or both parties are under 16). However, as with any child under 18, where there are concerns about safety or welfare, child safeguarding procedures should be followed and both young victims and young perpetrators should be offered support.
The ‘Domestic Abuse Act 2021: statutory guidance’ provides further advice for frontline professionals who have responsibility for safeguarding and supporting victims of domestic abuse, including children. This guidance provides further information about the different forms of domestic abuse (including teenage relationship abuse and child to parent abuse) and the impact of domestic abuse on children.
Statutory Guidance Framework defines controlling or coercive behaviour as
- an intentional pattern of behaviour that occurs on two or more occasions, or which takes place over time, in order for one individual to exert power, control or coercion over another. The conduct is ongoing, and perpetrators will use various means to hurt, humiliate, intimidate, exploit, isolate and dominate their victims.
Controlling and Coercive Behaviour
Section 76 of the Serious Crime Act 2015 has been amended by the Domestic Abuse Act 2021. From the 5 April 2023 behaviour which amounts to Controlling or Coercive Behaviour now applies to partners, ex-partners, and family members, whether or not the victim and suspect are living together.
Victims of controlling or coercive behaviour may not be aware of, be ready to acknowledge, or be able to communicate that the abuse they are currently experiencing or have previously experienced, is part of a pattern of controlling or coercive behaviour. Furthermore, victims of controlling or coercive behaviour may not be aware that such behaviour amounts to a criminal offence. It can have a significant impact on a victim’s emotional, psychological and mental wellbeing. Their day-to-day life can be affected by trying to manage the abuse, leading to increased anxiety and a focus on adapting their behaviour to appease the perpetrator, resulting in the victim questioning or doubting their own experiences and developing low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness.
Controlling or coercive behaviours might include:
- Isolating a person from their friends, family and professionals;
- Taking control over aspects of their everyday life, such as where they can go, who they can see, what to wear and when they can sleep;
- Financial abuse including control of finances, such as only allowing a person a punitive allowance or sabotaging a victim’s financial position;
- Depriving them of their basic needs;
- Controlling or monitoring the victim’s daily activities and behaviour;
- Technology-facilitated abuse;
- Monitoring a person via online communication tools or using spyware;
- Depriving them of access to support services who are seeking to help them, such as specialist support or medical services;
- Preventing the victim from taking medication, or accessing medical equipment and support, or over-medicating them;
- Reproductive coercion, including restricting a victim’s access to birth control;
- Refusing to interpret or hindering access to communication aids including the ability to learn a language;
- Repeatedly putting them down such as telling them they are worthless;
- Enforcing rules and activity which humiliate, degrade or dehumanise the victim;
- Forcing the victim to take part in criminal activity such as shoplifting, neglect or abuse of children to encourage self-blame and prevent disclosure to authorities;
- Using substances such as alcohol or drugs to control a victim through dependency, or controlling their access to substances;
- Threats to hurt or kill;
- Using children to control or coerce the victim;
- Threats to animals to control or coerce a victim;
- Making threats of suicide as a method of controlling the victim;
- Threats to reveal or publish private information (e.g. sexual activity or orientation, gender identity or health status to family, friends, work colleagues and the wider community);
- Assault;
- Criminal damage (such as destruction of household goods);
- Rape;
- Preventing a person from having access to transport or from working;
- Threatening precarious immigration status against the victim.
See Controlling or Coercive Behaviour - Statutory Guidance Framework for information on controlling or coercive behaviour, to assist in identifying, evidencing, charging, prosecuting and convicting the offence.
Non-fatal Strangulation
Non-fatal strangulation can be used as a form of assault in domestic abuse and a history of strangulation can significantly increase the risk of an eventual fatality. Non-fatal strangulation is often used to instill fear and exert power and control. Victims who experience non-fatal strangulation may believe at the time that they will die as a result. Loss of consciousness, even temporary, can cause brain damage, this includes long-term neurological damage such as memory loss and facial droop. In addition, loss of consciousness can create an increased risk of miscarriage and stroke. Despite the strong link between non-fatal strangulation and domestic homicide, it can be difficult to identify due to a lack of visible injury. Visible marks are not always present but the absence of marks should not undermine an account of non-fatal strangulation.
Also see: Institute for Addressing Strangulation (IFAS) for additional resources.
Non-fatal strangulation is a criminal offence. Section 70 of the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 amends Part 5 of the Serious Crime Act 2015 to provide that a person commits the offence of strangulation or suffocation if they intentionally strangle another person or do any other act that affects another person’s ability to breathe. Non-consensual or harmful non-fatal strangulation can also arise in a sexual context and is also an offence under the Act.
Other forms of abuse may be present for example:
Abuse by family members which can involve abuse by any relative or multiple relatives. Abuse within a family set-up can encompass a number of different behaviours, including but not limited to violence, coercive or controlling behaviours, and economic abuse. Abuse by family members also encompasses forced marriage, so called ‘honour’-based abuse and female genital mutilation.
Child-to-Parent Abuse which can include physical violence from a child towards a parent or other family members such as siblings and a number of different types of abusive behaviours, including damage to property, emotional abuse, and economic/financial abuse. Violence and abuse can occur together or separately. Abusive behaviours can encompass, but are not limited to, humiliating language and threats, belittling, damage to property and stealing and heightened sexualised behaviours.
Technological abuse using technology and social media as a means of controlling, coercing, harassing or stalking victims. This happens frequently both during and after relationships with abusers and is particularly common amongst younger people.
Spiritual abuse using religion and faith systems to control and subjugate a victim often characterised by a systemic pattern of coercive or controlling behaviour within a religious context. A form of spiritual abuse may include the withholding of a religious divorce, as a threat to control and intimidate victims.
For details of the strategy covering the government’s plan to tackle domestic abuse see: Tackling violence against women and girls strategy - GOV.UK. This strategy covers how the government prioritises prevention, supports survivors, pursues perpetrators and creates a stronger system to ensure that all victims – and their families - have access to the right support at the right time to help them live free from violence and abuse.
See Domestic abuse: how to get help - GOV.UK to find out how to get help if you or someone you know is a victim of domestic abuse.
There are many and varied signs of domestic abuse, and they are often shaped by the way that an individual’s identities intersect. Every situation is unique, but there are common factors that link the experiences of those in abusive relationships. Please see the below links for some of the signs and indicators of domestic abuse:
Risk factors | Background information | Domestic abuse | CKS | NICE (CKS – Clinical Knowledge Summaries; NICE – National Institute for Health and Care Excellence)
Victims are at most risk at the point of leaving, or having recently left the violent partner and may need support.
A parent and child/young person fleeing from domestic abuse may require a significant level of support as they may be:
- Experiencing problems with housing, finance and employment;
- Isolated from usual family support / community networks - especially if moved / placed outside their home area;
- Struggling to provide / maintain stability.
Parents with children/young people fleeing domestic abuse may receive support from the housing department. Children's Services should be included in planning the course of action if relocation is necessary. See below Section 6, Domestic Violence Protection Orders.
In addition, housing departments do not have a duty to provide housing to families with No Recourse to Public Funds and additional financial support maybe required from Children’s Services.
In instances where a child/young person with an open referral moves to live on a temporary or permanent basis in another local authority area that authority should be notified and the provision of relevant information, including any assessment (e.g. C&F, Early Help, Family First), whether partially or fully completed (and including any information about domestic abuse) to that authority. The notification should indicate whether parental consent has been obtained to share the information in question. Such consent is not required if the referral or any assessment includes child protection concerns. See also Children Moving Across Local Authority Boundaries Procedure.
Where families are being provided with financial support for accommodation by Children’s Services and moved Local Authority, the originating Local Authority will continue to financially support.
Police are often the first point of contact and they (or any domestic abuse specialist or other trained agency that becomes aware of domestic abuse) will undertake a risk assessment. Police will use DARA and other agencies will use the DASH RIC (Domestic Abuse, Stalking, and Honour Based Violence Risk Indicator Checklist) to help identify and assess the immediate risks. All frontline Police Officers are trained in how to deal with situations of domestic abuse. Additionally, a large proportion of frontline Police Officers are also given specialist training in responding to the needs of victims of domestic abuse. There are also adapted/translated version of the DASH risk assessment on the Saferlives website.
The Officers initial response is to ensure the safety of the victim and:
- Ascertain whether there are any children/young people living in the household or if the victim is pregnant;
- Make a preliminary determination of the degree of exposure of the children/young people to the incidents of abuse and its consequent impact and effects;
- If there is an immediate direct risk to a child/young person, ensure immediate protective action is taken (see Contacts and Referrals Procedure);
- Provide the victim with information on local support services and refuge details, taking into account any ethnic or cultural issues (i.e. National Helpline, local specialist agencies / help-lines, Women's Aid, Hertfordshire Beacon). Advice is available via the Herts Sunflower or Hertfordshire Domestic Abuse Help Line on 08 088 088 088. and the Herts Domestic Abuse Helpline Alternatively, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline – 0808 2000 247 managed by Refuge.
Where there are children or young people under the age of eighteen years in the household, including an unborn baby, the Police officer must, having completed the appropriate risk assessment process required for all domestic abuse incidents complete the following tasks before the end of her/his tour of duty:
- Inform the parent / carer that details of the incident will be shared with partner agencies in accordance with these procedures;
- Complete a DARA providing full details of child//young person including full name and date of birth, indicating in the record if and of what a parent / carer refuses to provide details;
- Submit the booklet to a Supervisory Officer for authorisation and signature, which must then be forwarded to the DAISU (Domestic Abuse Investigation and Safeguarding Unit);
- Confirm that they have provided relevant information leaflets on local support services and refuge details (or provide an explanation if this has not been accomplished).
Police will share this information, including the outcome of the risk assessment, with other agencies as described below.
The DAISU team will evaluate the level of risk relating to the victim's perceived risk of serious harm or death, based on available information.
The Police will notify Hertfordshire County Council in line with their threshold criteria (Customer Service Centre) within 24 hours for children and young people and other victims deemed at High Risk and 72 hours for all other domestic abuse incidents when there is known to be:
- A child/young person resident, or regularly staying, in the household;
- A pregnant victim of domestic abuse;
- The victim is a child/young person themself.
The Police must notify the NHS Trusts within 24 hours for children and young people and victims at High Risk and within 72 hours for all other domestic abuse incidents where there is known to be:
- A child under the age of five years resident, or regularly staying, in the household;
- A pregnant victim of domestic abuse.
The notification provided by the Police will be an e-mail of the Athena Safeguarding Referral form and the level of risk to the victim (not the child/young person) identified by the Police. These must be sent to the nominated agency representative at a secure e-mail address.
The Police will also notify schools and early year settings of all domestic abuse incidents where there are school age children/young people in line with Operation Encompass:
Operation Encompass is a police and education early information safeguarding partnership enabling schools to offer immediate support to children experiencing domestic abuse. Operation Encompass ensures that there is a simple telephone call or notification to a school’s trained Designated Safeguarding Lead /Officer (known as key Adult) prior to the start of the next school day after an incident where police have attended domestic abuse and there were children related to either of the adult parties involved. Following such an incident taking place, children will often arrive at school distressed and unprepared. Operation Encompass aims to ensure that appropriate school staff are made aware at the earliest possible stage in order to provide relevant and tailored support to children and young people in a way that means that they feel safe.
Children’s Services will identify and forward the domestic abuse notification form, received from the Police, to the relevant team, see below Section 9, Referral Pathways to HCC Children’s Services and Partner Agency Services.
Hertfordshire Beacon should be notified by the lead professional if the victim requests it.
Perpetrators can be referred into The Chrysalis Centre: https://chrysaliscentre.net/contact-us/
DVPO’s were implemented in March 2014, to address a previous gap by providing protection to victims by enabling the Police and magistrates to put in place protection in the immediate aftermath of a domestic abuse incident, for up to 28 days. The courts and police have a range of orders at their disposal to use as they see fit based on individual assessments.
The Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (DVDS) (also known as ‘Clare’s Law’) commenced in England and Wales on 8 March 2014. The DVDS gives members of the public a formal mechanism to make enquires about an individual who they are, or have been, in a relationship with, or who is in a relationship with someone they know, where there is a concern that the current or ex-partner may have a history of violence or abuse. This scheme adds a further dimension to the information sharing about children/young people where there are concerns that domestic abuse is impacting on the care and welfare of the children/young people in the family.
Members of the public can make an application for a disclosure, known as the ‘right to ask’. Anybody can make an enquiry, but information will only be given to someone at risk or a person in a position to safeguard the victim. The scheme is for anyone in an intimate relationship regardless of gender.
Partner agencies can also request disclosure is made about an abuser’s past history where it is believed someone is at risk of harm. This is known as ‘right to know’.
If a potentially violent or abusive individual is identified as having convictions for violent offences, or information is held about their behaviour which reasonably leads the Police and other agencies to believe they pose a risk of harm to their partner or ex-partner, the Police will consider disclosing the information. A disclosure can be made if it is legal, proportionate, and necessary to do so.
See also Supporting Government Guidance Documents to the Domestic Abuse Act 2021.
This procedure applies to all practitioners in HSCP agencies. Other organisations e.g. refuges are encouraged to adopt them.
On notification / disclosure / suspicion of domestic abuse in a family, all agencies must immediately consult existing records and consider what else is known of the family and any previous domestic incidents. Call 999 if the person disclosing domestic abuse is in immediate danger or if a crime is being committed.
Those in receipt of Police notifications may contact the Police domestic abuse officer if more information is required.
Multi-agency work and information sharing (see Information Sharing and Confidentiality Procedure) is crucial in safeguarding children/young people in situations of domestic abuse.
Police share information of domestic abuse incidents as described in Section 6, Police notification procedure.
Professionals in all agencies are likely to become aware of domestic abuse through:
- Disclosure prompted by the professional's routine questioning or identification of indicators that domestic abuse could be taking place;
- Unprompted disclosure from a child, young person, parent or abuser; or
- Third party information (e.g. neighbours or family members).
Information from the public, family or community members must be taken seriously by professionals in statutory and voluntary agencies.
Information could also come in the form of information shared by another agency or group, which a professional decides to respond proactively to because they become concerned that the agency or group which shared the information is not responding appropriately to support the child/young person and/or their parent.
In making the decision about seeking information prior to / after direct contact with the family, consideration should be given to the:
- Likely impact to the child/young person and the adult victim, including the possibility of increasing the risk of domestic abuse;
- Need for an approach that takes full account of information available on home circumstances.
Professionals receiving information about domestic abuse should explain that priority will be given to ensuring that the child/young person and their parents’ safety is not compromised through the sharing of information.
If there is concern about the increased likelihood of suffering significant harm to the child/young person, then every professional's overriding duty is to protect the child/person.
Professionals also have a duty to protect the victim and should do so under the Crime and Disorder Act 1998, which allows responsible authorities to share information where a crime has been committed or is going to be committed.
Whether or not a child, young person or victim discloses, when a professional becomes aware of domestic abuse in a family, in order to assess and attend to immediate safety issues for the child/young person, parent and professional, the professional should establish:
- The nature of the abuse;
- If there are other children/young people in the household. If so, the number of children/young people and whether any are under 7 years or have special needs;
- Whether the victim's partner is with them, and where the children/young people are;
- What a child, young person or victim's immediate fears are;
- Whether there is a need to seek immediate assistance; and
- Whether the child/young person and the parent have somewhere safe to go. It is important to remember that victims of domestic abuse have been disempowered by the person abusing them, and professionals working collaboratively with the victim will support them to feel in control of next steps whenever possible.
Hertfordshire’s Continuum of Need (2023) includes examples of domestic abuse and what level of need and response may be required to support professionals in knowing when to refer. The Department of Education Information Sharing Advice (DfE non-statutory information sharing advice for practitioners providing safeguarding services for children, young people, parents and carers (publishing.service.gov.uk) updated in May 2024 gives advice for practitioners providing safeguarding services for children, young people, parents and carers. There seven golden rules include rule 2:
“When you have a safeguarding concern, wherever it is practicable and safe to do so, engage with the child and/or their carer(s), and explain who you intend to share information with, what information you will be sharing and why. You are not required to inform them, if you have reason to believe that doing so may put the child at increased risk of harm (e.g., because their carer(s) may harm the child, or react violently to anyone seeking to intervene, or because the child might withhold information or withdraw from services). Where there has been disclosure, the professional should:
- Support the child/young person and/or adult victim by taking what they say seriously;
- Make an immediate decision, where possible, about whether a child, young person or parent requires treatment or protection from emergency services;
- Ask the child/young person and/or adult victim what strategies they have in place for keeping safe (if any);
- Record the information and the source of the information;
- Discuss the information / concerns with the agency’s’ designated safeguarding children professional and the professional’s’ line manager.
Some children/young people will benefit, as will their caregivers and the perpetrators, from Early Help services to reduce the likelihood of significant harm. Hertfordshire's partner agencies provide a range of advice and support services.
Professionals are encouraged to use the Continuum of Need (2023)o consider if a referral to Children’s Services via the online referral portal is appropriate. Visit Professionals – report a concern about a child or young person | Hertfordshire County Council
The Police should always provide the victim with national and local advocacy, advice and support service information, and relating resources if safe to do so.
A risk assessment must be completed before any contact with a perpetrator is recommended and facilitated.
Careful consideration should be given to the purpose and method of contacting the family, particularly in relation to the sending and wording of any letters to the family. Although the letter may be addressed to one person it should be remembered that it might be opened by someone else and careful consideration given to risk and safety management.
For children’s whose needs are at Level 2 of the Continuum of Need (2023), Continuum of Need consideration should be given to the use of targeted and universal services e.g. undertaking a Family First Assessment, if this is thought to be less likely to exacerbate the situation and to be in the best interest of the child/young person.
Level 4 Section 47 enquiries (Children Act 1989) should be initiated where it is evidenced that the child/young person has suffered, or is likely to suffer significant harm. Please see Section 11 of the Continuum of Need (2023) for an up-to-date list of examples.
Level 2 and 3 enquiries may also be made under Section 17 of the Children Act 1989. Children Act 1989
Opportunities should be provided for both partners to be interviewed separately, and in a safe setting.
Many victims of domestic abuse feel unable to disclose its existence or severity. Cultural competence and intersectionality are essential considerations in providing effective domestic abuse support. Practitioners must understand and respect the diverse cultural backgrounds of survivors, recognising that experiences of abuse can be profoundly influenced by cultural, ethnic, familial, and religious contexts.
The following issues should be considered as part of any assessment:
- Nature of the abuse;
- Risks to the child/young person posed by the abuser;
- Risks of serious injury or death;
- Abuser's pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse;
- Impact of the abuse on the adult victim;
- Impact of the abuse on the child/young person;
- Impact of the abuse on parenting roles;
- Protective factors; and
- Nature and outcome of any past help-seeking.
- Coercive and controlling behaviours can impact an adult or child’s/young person’s capacity to make safe decisions and/or act on those.
- Impact of intersecting factors related to identity, such as characteristics protected by the Equalities Act 2010.
The adult victim of violence should be advised of the availability of legal advice and the options available through the Protection from Harassment Act 1997 and the Family Law Act 1996 Part IV and Domestic Violence Protection Orders.
The interview with the alleged perpetrator of the abuse should be planned carefully between the worker and their line manager. Care must be taken not to disclose addresses or make unsafe contact arrangements.
If there is an acknowledgement of the abuse, the interview should clarify the points above. Where there is no acknowledgement of violence, abuse or coercive behaviour and it is not possible to share the victim's account, there should be general discussions about the child’s/young person’s welfare.
Direct work should be undertaken with the child/young person (if of sufficient age and understanding), in order to gain their views. It is important to remember that a child/young person is considered to be a victim of domestic abuse by having seen or heard, or been subjected to the effects of, domestic abuse directly her/himself and/or may be inhibited from disclosing concerns due to fear of consequence and increased risk. In considering any plans for contact with a non-resident parent under the Child Arrangements Order, a Safety of Spending Time Arrangements checklist should be completed by either the Local authority, or Cafcass (as directed by the court), alongside the DASH Risk Assessment tool to inform safe spending time arrangements for the child/ young person with the non-resident parent.
If a Child Protection Conference is held, consideration should be given to any need to exclude the violent or abusive partner for part or all of the meeting (See Child Protection Conferences, Exclusion of Family Members from a Conference).
Victims with children/young people fleeing domestic abuse may receive support from the housing department. Children's Services should be included in planning the course of action if relocation is necessary.
All agencies will refer all ‘visible high risk’ children and young people (DASH score of 144 or above and/or professional judgement) to the Independent Domestic Violence Advisor (IDVA) service at the earliest opportunity and ensure that all appropriate and relevant information is communicated. Where there is imminent risk of significant harm or homicide (DASH score of 14 or above and/or professional judgement) a referral to MARAC should be made immediately.
If you are unsure of someone’s risk level, and seeking support to risk assess and/or determine the right service at the right time, contact the Herts Beacon Domestic Abuse Outreach Triage Service on 0300 002 0008 (9am – 5pm, Monday – Friday).)
The Community Outreach Services (COS) provides a range of support for victims/survivors assessed at standard and medium risk of harm from domestic abuse, in their local area. The organisations providing this service vary according to location. If you are unsure of the referral pathway in a particular area and want to refer someone to the service, call the Herts Beacon Domestic Abuse Outreach Triage Service for support.
The Chrysalis Centre is the Hertfordshire and Bedfordshire-wide gateway for perpetrators, providing a range of education and support interventions and programmes to enable healthy, safe and positive relationships.
The primary aim of work with those who abuse their (ex)partners is to increase the safety of children, young people and the adult victim. A secondary aim is to hold the abusive partner accountable for their abuse and provide them with opportunities to change.
Those who abuse their (ex)partners will seek to control any contact a professional has with them or work undertaken with them. Most abusive (ex)partners will do everything they can to avoid taking responsibility for their abusive behaviour towards their (ex)partner and their child/young person.
Where an abusive (ex)partner is willing to acknowledge their abusive behaviour and seeks help to change, this should be encouraged and affirmed. The (ex)partner should be referred to appropriate programmes which work to address the cognitive structures that underpin controlling and coercive behaviours. Professionals should not refer a perpetrator of domestic abuse for anger management, as this approach does not challenge or address the factors that underpin the abusive (ex)partner's use of power and control.
When a victim leaves an abusive situation, the abusive (ex)partner must never be given the address or phone number of where s/he is staying.
Professionals should never agree to accept a letter or pass on a message from an abusive (ex)partner unless the victim has requested this.
Children and young people of all genders can direct abuse towards their adult family members or siblings. The behaviour of children/young people who abuse in this way may have been subjected to trauma and harm previously, for which the child/young person may need specialist support or therapeutic interventions.
Professionals should refer a child/young person who abuses others to Children’s Services in line with the Contacts and Referrals Procedure.
The below resources are available in this situation:
- How we can help - Beacon (hertfordshirebeacon.org);
- The Chrysalis Centre - https://chrysaliscentre.net/contact-us/.
Safety planning for adult victims and children/young people is vital and plays a key part in all interventions to safeguard children/young people experiencing or impacted by domestic abuse. All immediate and subsequent assessments of risk to child/young person and their non-abusive parent/carer should include a judgement on the family's existing safety planning (please note, there can be both informal and formal safety plans e.g. a formal IDVA Safety Plan). Emergency/informal safety plans should be family lead, multi-agency and in place whilst assessments, referrals and interventions are being progressed.
Where imminent or significant risk of harm to the child/young person is identified, the emergency safety plan / strategy should be for the child/young person and, if possible, the non-abusive parent/carer, not to have contact with the abuser.
All safety plans should consider whether the non-abusive parent/carer is able to protect themselves or the child/young person from the abusive person. Exploration is needed about the power dynamic and control that the abusive parent continues to exert.
Professionals should keep the safety of the child/young person constantly under review, re-assessing the risk of harm using the risk identification matrix in the light of any new information or knowledge of further domestic abuse. If the risk of harm to the child/young person rises to risk of the child/young person suffering significant harm, lead professionals must review whether a referral to Children’s Services is required.
Adult victims need to know from the outset that this process may need to be enacted.
Where the risk is assessed as being of imminent or significant harm Children’s Services should advise on or lead the safety planning.
As soon as a professional becomes aware of domestic abuse within a family, they should work with the adult victim and each child/young person, according to their age and understanding to develop a safety plan. If a safety plan already exists, it should be reviewed.
The plan should emphasise that the best thing a child/young person can do for themselves, and their non-abusive parent/carer is not to try to intervene but to keep safe and, where appropriate, to get away and seek help.
The child/ young person should be given several telephone numbers, including local Police Safer Neighbourhood Teams and Domestic Abuse Investigation and Safeguarding Unit (DAISU), local domestic abuse helpline and advocacy services, Children’s Services, the Childline number (0800 1111), and the NSPCC Child Protection Helpline (0808 800 5000). Please see below Section 13, Useful Contacts and Links.
When the adult victim’s safety plan involves separation from the abusive partner, the disruption and difficulties for the child/young person need to be considered and addressed alongside assessment and management of the heightened risk of significant harm or homicide separation presents – specifically in the immediate and short-medium term.
The child/young person will need a long term support plan, with the support ranging from mentoring and support to integrate into a new locality and school / nursery school or attend clubs and other leisure / play activities through to therapeutic services and group work to enable the child/young person to share their experiences.
Professionals should ensure that in planning for the longer term support needs of the child/young person at all levels, input is received from the full range of key agencies (e.g. the school, health, LA housing, an advocacy service, the Police, Women's Aid or Refuge, relevant local activity groups and/or therapeutic services).
See also Appendix 3: Safety Planning.
Children/young people may continue to see both parents following incidents of domestic abuse when parents are separated. This may be via an informal agreement or a court order.
Victims are most at risk of serious harm or homicide at the point of and during the 1212-month period after separation. Contact can be a mechanism for the abusive partner to continue the abuse or compromise the safety of the adult victim and child/young person by using tactics to locate the victim and child/young person’s whereabouts.
Children/young people can also be abused as a means of hurting their non-abusive parent/carer. Those who abuse their (ex)partners may use contact with the child/young person to further abuse by, for example, using emotional and psychological abuse tactics to put down, humiliate or discredit the non-abusive parent/carer or blaming the non-abusive parent/carer for their abusive behaviour and subsequent separation. Thus, continuing the abuse and trying to manipulate the child/young person to take sides or blame the non-abusive parent/carer themselves.
Professionals should advise victims of their legal rights if an abusive (ex)partner makes a private law application for contact. This should include the option of asking for a referral to the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (CAFCASS) regarding the Safety of Spending Time Arrangements(see CAFCASS website / Additional Resources for assessing Domestic Abuse in Private Law Proceedings).)
A MARAC is a Multi-Agency Risk Assessment Conference, it is a regular local meeting to discuss how to help victims at high risk of imminent serious harm or homicide. They are confidential, risk-based meetings that bring together a range of agencies to improve the safety of the victim and their children by the sharing of relevant and proportionate information in order to agree a joint action plan to reduce the risk. The aims of a MARAC are:
- To safeguard victims; increasing the safety, health and well-being of victims – adults and children/young people - and reduce repeat victimisation.
- Make links with other public protection arrangements in relation to children, young people, perpetrators, and vulnerable adults; determining if the perpetrator poses a significant risk to any individual or to the general community.
- Safeguard and support agency staff working with children and young people and victims at high risk of domestic abuse;
- Address the behaviour of the perpetrator.
Hertfordshire has 5 double-district MARACs that are held twice a month across the county. The meetings are chaired by the MARAC Manager and coordinated by a dedicated team situated within the Constabulary’s Domestic Abuse Investigation and Safeguarding Unit (DAISU) and are attended by all the key agencies within the area.
How can I refer a case to MARAC?
For detailed information regarding the MARAC process for Children’s Services, please see the Hertfordshire Social Work Procedures Manual, Children in Need and Safeguarding.
All statutory and non-statutory agencies can refer victims to MARAC, provided a full risk assessment (DASH – Domestic Abuse, Stalking, Harassment and Honour Based Violence) has been completed along with the CS0434 Multi Agency Risk Assessment Conference (MARAC) Procedure - Herts CC (hertfordshire.gov.uk) where the current referral form is available for Children’s Services staff. If you need advice about completing the risk assessment please contact an IDVA (Independent Domestic Violence Advisor) or a DAODAO (Domestic Abuse Officer) within the Family Safeguarding Service. The completed form should be emailed to the MARAC Co-ordinator (details below).
It is vital that agencies who have a relationship and knowledge of the victim make the referral and participate in the MARAC process, in order for it to be effective in making the victim safe and addressing their needs.
Whilst it is always preferable to gain victim consent for a MARAC referral, if the victim is uncontactable or it is unsafe to attempt contact and gain consent, it is not necessary. There is opportunity to identify whether consent has been sought and given, or not, on the MARAC referral form.
MARAC dates and further information
There are 5 MARAC meetings that take place twice a month across Hertfordshire, each based on a double district. For more information about dates and for further information about how MARACs operate in Hertfordshire, please contact the MARAC team at hertsmarac@herts.police.uk .
See Social Work Procedures - MARAC.
Domestic Homicide Reviews (DHR) are multi-agency reviews into the circumstances in which the death of a person aged 16yrs or over occurred as a result of abuse, violence, or neglect in the context of domestic abuse and to identify the lessons to be learnt from the death.
Their purpose is to establish, identify and apply the lessons to the way local professionals and organisations work individually and together to safeguard victims to improve service responses, policies and procedures. The rationale for conducting a DHR is set in the aim of ensuring agencies are responding appropriately to victims of domestic abuse by having effective and robust support mechanisms, procedures, resources and interventions in place to prevent future incidents of domestic abuse and homicide.
The review will also assess whether agencies have sufficient procedures and protocols in place, which were understood and followed by their staff and where there may be a need to improve these procedures.
A DHR should be carried out to:
- Establish what lessons are to be learned from the domestic homicide regarding the way in which local professionals and organisations work individually and together to safeguard victims;
- Identify clearly what those lessons are both within and between agencies, how and within what timescales they will be acted on, and what is expected to change as a result;
- Apply these lessons to service responses including changes to policies and procedures as appropriate;
- Prevent domestic violence homicide and improve service responses for all domestic abuse victims and their children through improved intra- and inter-agency working.
Domestic homicide reviews are not inquiries into how the victim died or into who is to blame - that is a matter for coroners and criminal courts to determine. Domestic homicide reviews are also not a part of any disciplinary enquiry or process. Where information emerges in the course of a review suggesting that disciplinary action should be taken, the agency concerned will follow its own internal disciplinary procedures separately to the domestic homicide review process.
All services currently commissioned by the Hertfordshire Domestic Abuse and Violence Against Women and Girls Partnership (the Partnership) are available to both men and women.
Hertfordshire Sunflower is the public-facing brand of the Partnership and provides a hub for information, advice, and signposting about the support available for everyone subjected to, affected or concerned by domestic abuse in Hertfordshire. It provides support and signposting for any victim/survivor, friends and families, professionals, and perpetrators of domestic abuse.
For more information, and access to local and national service information and resources, go to the Hertfordshire Sunflower website. Alternatively, contact the Hertfordshire Domestic Abuse Helpline on 08 088 088 088 (9am-9pm Mon-Fri, 9am-4pm Sat/Sun) or email the helpline at Kim@mailpurple.org for free, confidential listening and signposting.
If you are unsure of someone’s risk level, and seeking support to risk assess and/or determine the right service at the right time, contact the Herts Beacon Domestic Abuse Outreach Triage Service on 0300 002 0008 (9am – 5pm, Monday – Friday).The Community Outreach Services (COS) provides a range of support for victims/survivors assessed at standard and medium risk of harm from domestic abuse, in their local area. The organisations providing this service vary according to location. If you are unsure of the referral pathway in a particular area and want to refer someone to the service, call the Herts Beacon Domestic Abuse Outreach Triage Service on 0300 002 0008 (9am – 5pm, Monday – Friday) for support.
The Chrysalis Centre is the Hertfordshire and Bedfordshire-wide gateway for perpetrators, providing a range of education and support interventions and programmes to enable healthy, safe and positive relationships.
Advice and support, including links and access to further national services and those out of area, can also be found through the links below:
- Home | Refuge National Domestic Abuse Helpline (nationaldahelpline.org.uk)
- Bright Sky app | Hestia- app and website that provides practical support and information on how to respond to domestic abuse
- Royal College of Nursing
- Galop– the LGBT+ anti-abuse charity
- National LGBT Domestic Abuse Helpline 0800 999 5428
- Karma Nirvana- Working to end Honour Based Abuse in the UK
- Respect– for safe and effective work with perpetrators, male victims and young people using violence and abuse
Additional useful resources and links specifically for women from in Black and other global majority communities are below.
Apply for the migrant victims of domestic abuse concession - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)
For those on temporary visa as a partner whose relationship has broken down due to domestic abuse and require access to benefits to support themselves
Support for Black survivors of abuse and violence | HERSANA For those needing support with the law or insecure immigration status can be found at:
Resources specifically for male victims of domestic abuse include:
An additional directory of resources surrounding domestic abuse is available here:
Myths about domestic abuse
- Myths - Women's Aid- Read about the many myths surrounding domestic abuse;
- The Survivor’s Handbook - Women's Aid.
The Survivor’s Handbook is a comprehensive resource for women experiencing domestic abuse. The handbook comprises short sections covering every aspect of seeking help and support, and includes information on how to help a friend who is experiencing domestic abuse and safety planning.
What about my children?
Learn how domestic abuse can affect children/young people and what can be done to help them.
The Hideout
- The Hideout supports children and young people living with domestic abuse, or to those who may want to help a friend. The site gives information on domestic abuse and helps children identify whether it is happening in their home.
For up-to-date key facts, information, and statistics about domestic abuse see the links below:
- Domestic abuse in England and Wales overview - Office for National Statistics (ons.gov.uk);
- Domestic abuse prevalence and trends, England and Wales - Office for National Statistics (ons.gov.uk);
- Support for Domestic Abuse - Royal College of Nursing;
- About domestic abuse | Safelives;
- Spotlights: Hidden victims | Safelives;
- Impact on children and young people - Women's Aid;
- LGBT+ resources and publications - Galop;
- Statistics on Male Victims of Domestic Abuse - (mankind.org.uk);
- Information and support on tech abuse | Refuge Tech Safety;
- Herts Sunflower;
- UK Guidance: Domestic Abuse: how to get help
Practitioners should inform victims of the options available, but should also always refer to specialist advice services, such as Citizens Advice Bureau, a Law Centre, Women's Aid or Independent Domestic Violence Advisors.
Domestic Abuse is a crime under both civil and criminal law.
Domestic Abuse Act 2021
Under the Domestic Abuse Act 2021, a duty is placed on all local authorities in England to
- Provide accommodation-based support to victims of domestic abuse and their children in refuges and other safe accommodation;
- Families who have No Recourse to Public Funds are unable to access refuge and or safe accommodation. Children’s Services will need to complete an assessment under Sec 17 CA and provide financial support to assist;
- Parents on a spousal visa should be supported to apply for a Migrant Victims of Domestic Abuse Concession (previously known as a DVCC). This will allow the applicant 3 months access to public funds, during this period they will need to take legal advice to apply for Indefinite Leave to Remain or assistance to leave the UK;
- Provide that all eligible homeless victims of domestic abuse automatically have ‘priority need’ for homelessness assistance;
- Place the guidance supporting the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (Clare’s Law) on a statutory footing;
- Ensure that when local authorities rehouse victims of domestic abuse, they do not lose a secure lifetime or assured tenancy.
Please also see the Hertfordshire Joint Housing Protocol.
Criminal Action
Hertfordshire Constabulary Police officers are under a duty to take positive action when investigating domestic abuse offences. Positive Action must be taken but should be appropriate to the circumstances. It is likely to but does not always mean arrest. The safety of the victim and other family members are paramount. Arrest of the suspect must always be considered in the context of providing this safety and officers should have regard to code G of PACE (Necessity Criteria) when making an arrest.
The power to arrest comes from Section 110 of the Serious Organised Crime and Police Act 2005, which amended the powers of arrest available to a constable under section 24 of the Police and Criminal Evidence Act 1984. This has made all offences potentially arrestable in certain circumstances.
The exercise of arrest powers will be subject to a test of necessity based around the nature and circumstances of the offence and the interests of the criminal justice system.
An arrest will only be justified if the constable believes it is necessary for any of the reasons set out below:
- To enable the name of the person in question to be ascertained (in the case where the constable does not know, and cannot readily ascertain, the person's name, or has reasonable grounds for doubting whether a name given by the person as his name is his real name);
- Correspondingly as regards the person's address (in the case where the constable does not know, and cannot readily ascertain, the person's address, or has reasonable grounds for doubting whether an address given by the person as his name is his real name);
- To prevent the person in question:
- Causing physical injury to himself or any other person;
- Suffering physical injury;
- Causing loss of or damage to property;
- Committing an offence against public decency; or
- Causing an unlawful obstruction of the highway;
- To protect a child or other vulnerable person from the person in question;
- To allow the prompt and effective investigation of the offence or of the conduct of the person in question;
- To prevent any prosecution for the offence from being hindered by the disappearance of the person in question.
When considering the need to arrest, the officer should take the following into account:
- The situation of the victim;
- The nature of the offence;
- The circumstances of the offender; and
- The needs of the investigation.
DAISU is most likely to be the primary unit to investigate intimate domestic abuse offences. The DAISU leads on all intimate domestic abuse reports, Honour Based Abuse or Forced Marriage. This group is often at the highest risk of harm and represents around 70-75% of all domestic abuse reports in Hertfordshire. The exception to this will be those offences of rape or penetrative sexual offences whereby SOIT (Sexual Offences Investigation Team) will lead the investigation. The decision to caution for a domestic abuse offence lies with either the Police or the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS). If a Police officer decides to caution a domestic abuse perpetrator it must be authorised by an Inspector or above. The Hertfordshire Constabulary guidance is that the officer making the cautioning decision should not be involved in the investigation for both subjectivity and integrity reasons.
It is the role of the CPS to decide on whether a perpetrator should be charged with a criminal offence and what criminal offence(s) should be charged. If there is a disagreement between Police and CPS, there is a dispute resolution process to review charging decisions - although ultimately it is the CPS who have the final decision.
Offences Against the Person Act, 1861 Section 47 Section 20 Section 18 |
Actual bodily harm (may be physical or psychological injuries). Unintentional GBH or wounding GBH with intent |
Protection from Harassment Act 1997 Section 2 / 4 |
Harassment, fear of violence. |
Public Order Act, 1986 Section 3 |
Affray. |
Offences Against the Person Act, 1861 Section 21 Section 23 |
Attempted choking, strangulation, and suffocation with intent to commit an indictable offence. Administer poisonous / noxious substances with intent to endanger life. |
Common Law Offences |
Kidnap, unlawful imprisonment Breach of the peace. |
Criminal Law Act, 1977 Section 6 |
Use / threaten violence to secure entry to premises. |
Criminal Justice and Public Order Act, 1994 Section 51 |
Intimidating / harm / threat to harm witness. |
Civil Law Court Order Section 7 Bail Act, 1976 |
Breach of injunction. Breach of bail. |
Offences Against the Person Section 16 |
Threats to kill. |
Sexual Offences Act 2003 | Including rape and other sexual offences. |
Anti-Social Behaviour, Crime and Policing Act 2014 | This Act updates Orders relating to anti-social behaviour and sexual offences. |
Once charged and at court there are numerous orders that can be applied for post sentence (N.B. some can be applied for as standalone orders, though the process is more difficult) to manage the future behaviour of an offender. These include:
- Anti-Social Behaviour Injunctions can be granted against a person aged 10yrs or over, to prevent them engaging in anti-social behaviour. The injunction may include provisions requiring the young person to do specified things, and/or prohibiting them from doing specified things;
For under-18yrs, the injunction must be for a specified period of time, which must be no more than 12 months;
These injunctions replace the previous Anti-Social Behaviour Orders (ASBOs) under section 1 Crime and Disorder Act 1998; - Restraining Orders can be applied for on successful conviction of Protection of Harassment Act offences;
- Sexual Harm Prevention Orders and Sexual Risk Orders;
These orders were introduced by the Anti-Social Behaviour, Crime and Policing Act 2014. They replace the previous Sexual Offences Prevention Order, Risk of Sexual Harm Orders and Foreign Travel Orders which were introduced by the Sexual Offences Act 2003.
The court needs to be satisfied that the order is necessary for protecting the public, or any particular members of the public, from sexual harm from the defendant; or protecting children or vulnerable adults generally, or any particular children or vulnerable adults, from sexual harm from the defendant outside the United Kingdom;
The Orders prohibit the defendant from doing anything described in the order, and can include a prohibition on foreign travel (replacing Foreign Travel Orders which were introduced by the Sexual Offences Act 2003);
Failure to comply with a requirement imposed under an Order is an offence punishable by a fine and/or imprisonment; - Sexual Harm Prevention Orders;
Sexual Harm Prevention Orders can be applied to anyone convicted or cautioned of a sexual or violent offence, including where offences are committed overseas. They replace the previous Sexual Offences Prevention Orders;
A prohibition contained in a Sexual Harm Prevention Order has effect for a fixed period, specified in the order, of at least 5 years, or until further order. The Order may specify different periods for different prohibitions; - Sexual Risk Orders;
Sexual Risk Orders can be made where a person has done an act of a sexual nature as a result of which there is reasonable cause to believe that it is necessary for such an order to be made, even if they have never been convicted. They replace the previous Risk of Sexual Harm Orders;
A prohibition contained in a Sexual Risk Order has effect for a fixed period, specified in the order, of not less than 2 years, or until further order. The Order may specify different periods for different prohibitions; - Disqualification Orders (Always Life) (Criminal Justice and Court Services Act 2000). Can be imposed on conviction at Crown Court for offences against children and prohibit any kind of work with children;
- Stalking Protection Orders (Stalking Protection Act 2019);A Stalking Protection Order (SPO) is made on application to the magistrate’s court by the police. It is a civil order. Applications for Interim or full orders can be made:
- Where the threshold to commence criminal proceedings for the commission of an offence has not yet or will not be met. This allows for early police intervention regarding incidences of stalking; or
- Where a suspect has been charged. A SPO is not an alternative to prosecution for stalking offences under the Protection from Harassment Act 1997. In such circumstances a SPO can be used to complement the prosecution of a stalking offence.
Within an application for a SPO or an interim order, police can request both prohibitions and/or requirements to protect the victim from the risk of stalking.
There is no specific legal definition of stalking. However, the police and CPS have adopted the following description: ‘a pattern of unwanted, fixated and obsessive behaviour which is intrusive. It can include harassment that amounts to stalking or stalking that causes fear of violence or serious alarm or distress in the victim’.
The criteria for applying for an order are set out in section 1(1) of the Act. The police are advised to consider applying for an order where it appears to them that:
- The respondent has carried out acts associated with stalking;
- The respondent poses a risk of stalking to a person; and
- There is reasonable cause to believe the proposed order is necessary to protect the other person from that risk. (The person to be protected does not have to have been the victim of the acts mentioned above.)
Applications for SPOs can be made in both a domestic abuse context (such as stalking by a former intimate partner) and in a case of so called ‘stranger stalking’. This also allows for protection to be in place even if the case results in an acquittal.
It should also be noted that if offenders are classed as: violent offenders; or potentially dangerous; or convicted of sexual offences and have to register as registered sex offenders (RSO) on the Sexual Offences Register; they will be managed by the MAPPA (Multi Agency Public Protection Arrangements). Further information can be obtained from the Hertfordshire Constabulary Public Protection Unit (PPU).
The Survivor’s Handbook - Women's Aid
Addressing domestic abuse creates opportunities to explore ways in which victims, including children/young people, can be kept safe. A safety plan is a semi-structured way to think about steps that can be taken to reduce risk, before, during and after any violent or abusive incidents. It is important to stress that although a safety plan can reduce the risks of violence, they cannot completely guarantee the safety of the victim and those around them. The safety plan should be kept, as much as possible, where it cannot be discovered by the abuser.
Agencies need to work with abusive (ex)partners/carers in order that:
- The safeguarding of victims is safe and structured;
- The risk is fully assessed and reduced;
- Challenge and accountability for the abusive behaviours and intervention(s) is placed with the abuser;
- The use of and impact of the abusive behaviour is explored with the abuser;
- Steps towards positive and long-lasting change are explored.
Always think safety first – recognise the need for behaviour change but make reducing harm the primary focus. Approach every situation in a ‘do no harm’ manner – take every step possible to ensure your actions do not compromise safety or increase the risk to adult victims and their child/ren.
Asking Questions
- Direct contact with the abusive partner/carer may be necessary in conducting assessments around risk and contact. This will help ensure shared parental responsibility is considered to reduce ‘victim-blaming’ and disguised compliance and promote the engagement of the family to improve outcomes whilst holding the abusive partner/carer accountable for their behaviour;
Before undertaking direct contact with the abusive partner/carer, the suitability of this should be assessed to ensure it is safe to do so; the DASH will help with this as well as wider checks and information sharing amongst colleagues and partner agencies; - Practitioner's responses to any disclosure, however indirect, could be significant for encouraging responsibility and motivating an abusive (ex)partner/carer towards change;
- Do not:
- Make direct reference to a concern raised by the non-abusive (ex)partner/carer – this may increase their risk;
- Discuss domestic abuse openly with both parties present – this will present platform for the abusive (ex)partner/carer to further control their victim and further reduce the victim’s capacity and space to disclose the full extent of their experience, fear, and distress.
- Do:
- Be open and direct – asking how things are going at home may prompt disclosure;
- Some helpful questions to follow up with include:
- Do you argue a lot with your partner?
- Have you ever pushed/slapped/hit your partner or used other force?
- Do you smash things/shout a lot/put your partner down?
- What are you like when you argue?
- How would your partner describe how you are in an argument?
- What are you most ashamed about doing to your partner.
Affirm any accountability shown by them - the behaviour is a choice.
Be respectful and empathic but do not collude – there is no excuse for domestic abuse.
The following is taken from the Respect factsheet Guidelines for working with perpetrators of domestic abuse and practitioners should give thought to how they might adopt and use them in practice
- Do not:
- If the abusive (ex)partner/carer presents additional contributory factors such as substance misuse or mental ill-health for example, but does not refer to their abusive behaviour directly, it may be that talking around the subject using other factors to detract or deflect or justify the abuse, or because it is easier than talking about the abuse directly:
- How is this drinking / stress at work / depression affecting how you are with your family?
- When you feel like that what do you do?
- When you feel like that, how do you behave?
- Do you find yourself shouting / smashing things?
- Do you ever feel violent towards a particular person?
- It sounds like you want to make some changes for your benefit and for your partner / children. What choices do you have? What can you do about it? What help would you like to assist you to make these changes?
Don’t assume that accessing help to address any contributory factors will stop the abusive behaviours on their own.
Don’t think that anger management, individual or couples counselling will help – such interventions are not domestic abuse interventions; they do not address the root causes or belief systems that challenge domestic abuse and initiate behaviour change, instead they can increase risk.
- If an abusive (ex)partner/carer responds openly to the use of prompting questions, more direct questions relating to heightened risk factors may be appropriate:
-
- Do you feel unhappy about your partner seeing friends or family – do you ever try to stop them?
- Have you assaulted or abused your partner in any way in front of the children?
- Have you ever assaulted or threatened your partner with a knife or other weapon?
- Have you and your partner tried to separate recently/separated recently?
- Did/has your behaviour changed towards your partner during (your) pregnancy?
The information you gather will be the basis for your decision about how best to engage and what kind of specialist help is required - either for the abusive (ex)partner/carer or to manage risk.
Responding to disclosures from abusive partners
Practitioners can make a difference and influence a family's situation and a child/young person's wellbeing, by following good practice response guidance, such as:
- Be clear that abuse is always unacceptable;
- Be clear that abusive behaviour is a choice;
- Affirm any accountability shown by the abusive (ex)partner/carer;
- Be respectful and empathic but do not collude;
- Be positive, people can change;
- Do not allow your feelings about the abusive (ex)partner/carer’s behaviour to interfere with your provision of a supportive service;
- Be straightforward; avoid jargon;
- Be clear that you must follow safeguarding policy and procedures, and that there is no entitlement to confidentiality if children/young person are at physical or emotional risk;
- Be clear about the judgement of risk to the children/young people and the consequences of this, including what actions the abusive (ex)partner/carer is expected to take;
- Whatever they say, be aware that on some level they are unhappy about their behaviour;
- Be aware, and tell the abusive (ex)partner/carer that children and yoing people are always affected by seeing, hearing or otherwise experiencing the effects of domestic abuse, whether or not they witness it directly;
- Be aware, and convey to the abusive (ex)partner/carer that domestic abuse is about power and control and encompasses a range of behaviours, not just physical violence (see Section 2, Definition);
- Do not back the abusive (ex)partner/carer into a corner or expect an early full and honest disclosure about the extent of the abuse;
- Be aware of the barriers to the abusive (ex)partner/carer acknowledging their abuse and seeking help (i.e. shame, fear of child protection process, self-justifying anger);
- Be aware of the likely implications to the abusive (ex)partner/carer of continued abuse and assist them to see these;
- If you are in contact with both partners, always see them separately, if you are discussing abuse.
Risk Management with Abusive Partners
- Where the non-abusive partner is indicating they wish the abusive partner to be involved in their and their child/ren's life, the abusive partner should be referred to an appropriate behaviour change programme or intervention;
- When the abusive partner indicates that they are worried about their behaviour, and is ready to take responsibility for their need to change, it may be appropriate to start to discuss plans for keeping their partner safe from their abusive behaviour, prior to commencement of any intervention. This might occur in situations where there is likely to be a delay in starting such work; it should only be undertaken after consultation with the agency offering the perpetrator programme;
- Before undertaking any work with an abusive (ex)partner/carer, the non-abusive partner/carer should be made aware and offered support services to ensure safety for them and their child/ren is not compromised.
Last Updated: August 29, 2024
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